Posted by: tiggerproject | July 18, 2012

MAKING FRIENDS AND AVOIDING THE DREAMKILLERS

“A stranger is just a friend I haven’t met yet.” – Will Rogers

Friendship is one of those magical keys to wellness.  It is a universal human need to feel connection, and when we open our hearts, feel curiosity or find commonalities, it is amazing how quickly we can make a new friend.  There is great pain and suffering when we isolate ourselves or don’t risk being vulnerable and real.  A lot of us fail to remember that to have a friend you must BE a friend, which requires emotional and/or physical presence.  When I think about great moments with friends or new people I’ve met, I was simply being and enjoying the moment: laughing, conversing or sharing.  In these precious moments there is no expectation, just connection.  It’s a wonderful feeling isn’t it?

Some of you are very kind to others but are less compassionate with yourself.  Turning critical thoughts and judgments inward is just as abusive as expressing this outwardly.  Do you attract controlling, domineering and highly critical people into your experience?  When you can begin to heal this aspect in yourself, these types will float on out of your world, or when they show up, you can recognize them as actors in your play that are there in service to your growth.  When I catch myself judging or feeling dislike for someone, I must remember that these are merely aspects of myself I do not enjoy.  The people that surround you are mirrors of you – this is a tough pill to swallow sometimes.

There will be some people, including those closest to you, who will express fear and judgment about what you’re up to and who you are becoming.  I call them the Dreamkillers.  It is Universal Law that once you truly commit to something, obstacles will pop up to test your commitment.  When those you love and respect seem to withdraw their approval, remember that it is merely their own fear of change.  They do not know who you are becoming and often this threatens their very safe and certain existence.  Your changes are causing them to examine their own life and this is often an uncomfortable place.  When you share ideas about a career change there are those that will worry about your fiscal responsibility (this is really about them!).  When you alter eating and fitness patterns, some will feel resentment that you will no longer be sharing a meal at a fast food joint or smoking cigarettes with them.  I once had a boyfriend who said I was “not fun” because I didn’t want to drink an alcoholic beverage he handed to me.  He was a guy who didn’t know how to have fun without a few drinks and our lifestyles didn’t match up.  Respect your own boundaries and surround yourself with the people who will support your journey as well as your highest and best self.  If the people giving you a hard time are family members or a spouse, they probably need reassurance that you will still love them.  There is an underlying fear that as you evolve, there will be a loss of love and connection.  If anything, there will be more of the real you available to love and be loved.

Tigger is my metaphor for embodying a passionate, purposeful, and vibrant life.  As you become more “Tigger-like” and self expressed, it is inevitable that you will make new friends and encounter some dreamkillers. Each of these people is a teacher to you and can be compared to the lights of a runway guiding you forward. Don’t let the dreamkillers (aka Eeyores)  bounce you off-course and give thanks to those who are supporting you on your journey.


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