Posted by: tiggerproject | September 14, 2012

On Grief, Loss and Smiling Again…

Today I attended the memorial service of a high school classmate.  He passed away from cancer at the age of 40, leaving a wife and two young children.  It seems senseless and unfair for a life to feel cut short.  Dying young does not fit our model of the world, and how things should turn out.

If you have lost someone, I offer you my sincerest condolences.  The loss of a child, spouse,  sibling or dear friend is not something I would wish on anyone.  But did you know that the ability to process through grief is one of the keys to longevity?  Think about it: if you live to blow out 100 candles on your birthday cake, you will probably out-live some folks…

Grieving is healthy and natural, but not when you get stuck there.  Cry, scream, and throw weights around, but remember that what you focus on expands.  When you replay the special memories and feel the love you shared, it honors that person so much more.  He or she would not want you depressed or upset for too long.

What are your spiritual beliefs?  When a loss occurs, this is not the time to abandon those beliefs.  You can choose an empowering meaning and find a way to make the loss purposeful.

One of the most amazing examples of creating purpose out of loss is the story of John Walsh.  Walsh’s son Adam was abducted and murdered at the age of five.  Walsh went on to create “America’s Most Wanted,” a groundbreaking TV show that caught over 1,000 criminals and brought home over 50 missing children.  Another example is Candy Lightner, who founded Mothers Against Drunk Driving.  Candy’s three children experienced injuries as a result of drunk drivers (at three different times) and one of them died.  When she realized that none of these drivers, including the one that killed her daughter, would receive jail time or tickets, she decided to start MADD.  Candy later wrote, “I promised myself on the day of Cari’s death that I would fight to make this needless homicide count for something positive in the years ahead.”

Our life is truly precious and we take so many things for granted.  Every day we breathe is an opportunity to express our love, our appreciation and our talents.  If you are hurting and missing someone, please know that there is someone out there who would be feeling the same if you were gone.  I appreciate you for reading and God Bless.

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